Are tears the secret to Luo men’s romantic prowess?

I am not a fan of radio but I confess to mixed feelings on ‘Maina and King’ang’I in the Morning’ show on Classic FM. I will appreciate that the professional chemistry between the two is out of this world. There presentation is top notch but I always have a problem with the content. One day when I listened to them speak about men and tears, this is after President Kibaki had shed a tear or two during an Equity Bank function. 

People may have been shocked when Miguna Miguna revealed that the enigmatic Raila Amollo alias Agwambo shocked his aides when he cried uncontrollably. Miguna must have thought that this would portray Raila in bad light but from the responses I have read in the media, it seems it is good if men cry once in a while. I cried a while back and since then I have learned to master my emotions.

Men also cry, but the society has made us believe it is wrong or a show of weakness if a man cries. It is even known in some cultures that men cry in the loo. Then again, when you see a man cry, know that something has touched his heart, for good or worst.

This is not about mean and tears but another take from my cap as a backfired anthropologist. I have come to note that our cultures shape our personalities as individuals. Luos tend to be extroverts and emotional, Luhyas are reserved and loyal, while Kikuyu men are introverted but shrewd. Does culture have a say in our personalities?

I know psychologists have gone to great lengths to group people in the introvert/extrovert groups and even further down into intuitive, thinkers and so forth. I will not dwell into that but will look at our social groups with a positive stereotypical lens. This is in my efforts to make Kenyans understand our diversity and embrace each other because what you will not fear what you understand.

I have spent time with the Maasai from Trans Mara down to Loitoktok to the South. The Maa men are reserved and respectful but will turn into a fit of anger on provocation. There are exceptions to the rules so don’t be harsh to shoot down my point of view.

We pick a lot from our environment, so genetics determines who we are but who we become is a product of our environment. This has made us turn to the default setting that is the stereotype associated with our ethnic entities.

I don’t have the answers here but will ask questions. It seems we are always inclined to adopt the acceptable traits in our families and societies and shun what our societies disregard. This in turn forms the basis of looking down on other people who are different from us.

For example Luhyas detest vocal, loud and robust people. People like Miguna Miguna will be exceptions among the Luhyas. The traits that tend to be appreciated are modesty and reserved nature. It is only among the Idakho and Isukha where you meet passionate people like Boni Khalwale.

Back to Luos and I can remember in 2008 when some ODM councilors broke ranks with their party to vote with PNU. Luo councilors were shedding tears before cameras when it was evident that their candidate was going to lose. What makes Luos so emotional?

The Kikuyu tend to have aggressive ladies and reserved men. There are exceptions though but the Michukis are not common among the Kikuyu and the few have been forced to knock off the rough edges. In the contrary, the ladies tend to be more outgoing and extroverted.

Luos are extroverted and robust a character that gets to cantankerousness (that is another word for quarrelsome, but do I say) on one extreme and a sanguine on the other. On the contrary we are also good artists, sportsmen and craftsmen; traits that are associated with melancholy and the keenness of introverts.

Then again, men who cry are said to be in touch with their emotions. Is this what gives Luo men the ‘kings of romance’ tag? The passion of extroverts and the thoughtfulness of introverts combine to make Luos men who they are? They will internalize and express themselves in ways that make the fair sex blush.

So when Raila cries and Miguna bursts out ‘come baby come’ is it just a trait that makes Luo men the most loving and lovable on one hand and unpredictable on the other?

The culture sensitive part of my brain is still processing all these, I will appreciate your comments may be in future It will crystallize in my mind and I will pen my findings. 

Meanwhile, let me put on my other cap, gossip about football. @ www.stuttistics.blogspot.com