Kibera si Nairobi Part 3: Kids, sex and family planning

The worst form of human rights abuse is to raise a child in a slum. I don't have a problem with the adults who chose to leave the comfort of rural life to seek the 'luxuries' our slums have to offer. In the time that I have watched and interacted with slum dwellers with my third backfired anthropological eye, I have seen the suffering of children, who go through it unknowingly.

 A pastor friend with a humour that was out of this world gave me a snippet of what slum life is . He was a part time pastor, doubling up as a driver as he looked after his flock in the Eastern side of Nairobi. He told me how he planted a church in Mukuru slums and lived there as the church grew. He left it to a young pastor he raised as he moved further east to a 'more affluent' neighbourhood.

Then came the punch line, in the five years he lived in this slum, he sired four children. He jokingly called it- "I had four accidents in bed." I laughed with him but at the back of my mind, I knew there was more to this story.

Take a walk in a slum or a low class housing estate. You are most likely to meet children of the same age and/or height playing together. If you follow closely, these children are neighbours.

According to my friend, when he went to bed which was as early as 8pm, he made love to his wife even if he had no plans to. This happened because the houses are made of iron sheets and the bed in the next room is most likely on the adjacent wall. When one person gets into the love making business, the man next door cannot afford to sleep, and the ripple effect is such that several babies may be born within days, nine months after this night.

 Baby Mama

The American term- baby mama must have had its roots in their slums or as they put it ‘projects.’ A girl from Kibera caught the eye of a friend; they fell in love and are happily married. He asked me to take him down there once and I saw many ‘hot chics.’ That environment can hide some beautiful stuff.

The denominator was that almost all these ladies, some barely a year into college while the rest were school drop outs had babies. Looking at the ages of the children, they gave birth in their last years in primary school. Let us say between twelve and thirteen years of age, when a girl gets into puberty- men are waiting to literary chapa ilale (The Nairobi slung for one night stands)

Combining the two stories above- reproductive health measures is complicated in the slums. Because most of the people can afford only one room, if the man next door can’t sleep, what about the children in the same room. They pick the sexual ‘undertones’ earlier than necessary.

By the time they get to puberty, they already know what they don’t know about sex. Here is a sexually charged environment and people without the means and will for proper reproductive health measures. I repeat, the worst form of human rights abuse is to let children grow up in slums.

There is no space left to play, so they either play along the slum alleys or inside the tiny houses. This exposes them to all sorts of abuse and infections.

A friend of mine called Tall gave me another good lead, the beautiful girls always end up with the bad boys. It is the bad boys who have money and the lifestyle every slum girl wishes for. It is made voluntary at first, but if the girl is adamant, she is forced into it.  It is a catch 22 situation for the girls, and may be a catch 23 (if it exists) for the boys. If you want the girls, get the money and crime is the easier way out.

To the men who decide to leave their families upcountry as they eke out a living in the city, it is not any better. The commercial sex work in the slums is as complex as it is simple. The women are always ready to lure a man, regardless of his age into their net for economic reasons as well as protection from errant men.

Condoms are a luxury to people who can’t afford food. Even if they had the money, if one needs it at night venturing out is risky. You have heard of people recycling condoms and all, yes, it is real.

For this reason, I support the efforts the government has put in to transform the slum environment and build highrise flats for Kibera dwellers. Getting the slum out of them will take time, but the new flats will have a positive effect on the social culture.

There are success stories from children who grew up in these slums. But the ratio of failures to success stories is still high. When a child grows up in the slum, there is a more likelihood, that he will end up in a slum somewhere.... We have to break the cycle!