Do not hang up on a stammerer

It is frustrating to have something to say and not be able to say it. It is even more frustrating to try to say it and not say it as well as you would like to. This is a stammerers way of life, we go through it daily. Our world is full of anger, disappointments and frustrations. People have come to label us ‘an angry lot,’ maybe we are, but 

maybe it is because the fluent speakers think we are slow or are wasting their time.

There was a young man who went to borrow an axe from a neighbor. Upon arrival, as is the custom before he could say what he wanted the host offered him a mug of tea. He accepted, and then sat to drink the local version of a cold coke. Then all of a sudden another young man came into the compound and asked for the axe. The host brought it to him but the first man stood up and said that’s what had brought him to the home as well. The host was caught in an awkward position.

I like to tell the above story but I have never thought that the first man may have been a stammerer. It happens to us a lot, we agonize and prepare to say something then back off at the last minute. We have thus lost opportunities or seen what we want slip away just because we could not say what we wanted at the right time.

Watch out for the caller who seems to take long to speak on the other end. Sometimes the world moves so fast for us, and what we can do is to keep what we have to say in our hearts. Who can stand the jerks, gyrations, blocks and prolonged speech? It is worse when you hang up on me. A lady hanged up on me around March and I have never called her since. It is the harshest thing someone can do to us. Nevertheless, we get hang-ups every day, when we can’t say what we want to say. The phone is the worst invention to have been made, just ask any stammerer.

If you have not read the new constitution, please do so. It is against the Kenyan Constitution to complete sentences for a stammerer or hang up the phone on them. Oh yes, this year’s International Stammering Awareness Day is about sharing stories and changing perceptions.

Share with us on www.nairobistammering.wordpress.com

© 18^th September 2011      kenyatta otieno

God knows why he made you the way you are

As we prepare to celebrate the International Stammering Awareness Day on Saturday October 22^nd 2011, a good story came to mind. My cousin Fred, claims to know me so well, better than any of my relatives. He had been admitted to Kenya Polytechnic where he had made many friends and even became a leader. He invited me for lunch and an afternoon drink just to see how he was making it. We met in town and walked into the college with him.

No sooner had we entered the gate than he heard someone call from the balcony, Otie (that was my high school nick name) then there was a shout of Onyatto and Kenyatta-Kenyatta, my student activist tag, we all had double names since the days of Miguna Miguna and Kabando wa Kabando. Where he thought he would introduce me to his friends, I was the one introducing him to his colleagues.

We sat down in the cafeteria to have lunch and Fred smiled shyly in his characteristic way. He squinted; he does this always before unleashing words of wisdom or utter nonsense (I also know him well.) “God knows why you have to stammer Kenyatta, if you had fluent speech you could have destroyed the world.” He said and patiently waited for my response. I laughed out loud, not in agreement of or lack of the same but at his wise observation.

What Fred did not know is that the stutter that he thought was holding me like a dog chain was responsible for unleashing me into a man of the people. Like everybody else, he has his own opinion on stammering. It is for this reason that we come together every year to celebrate this condition that is still a medical mystery.

According to Fred, God made you short, fat or short sighted, for your own good and the good of mankind. I would not say so of stammering, because it is only those of us living with it who know what it takes. We invite you to come and share with us, as we seek to change perceptions.

Al Komaroff said, “If you can’t communicate well, you’ll never participate fully in society… overall your career and relationships will be below your potential.

Present your final submission at the Hague.....

Many years ago I appeared before the University of Nairobi Senate Disciplinary Committee.This was to answer charges for being involved in many acts of unruliness. I even got to learn the word picketing for the first time and that it was an offense. I may not have been involved in the actual acts, but I created an environment where students would do such acts. I lost my cool and I did not do my best in my defense.

The lawyers representing the ODM 3 of the Ocampo 6 are giving their final submissions today. I have followed the proceedings sparingly but it is hard to tell who should take political responsibility for what happened. That aside, if I took you to the Hague and brought charges committed between January 1st and February 28th 2008 what would be your final submissions. I accuse you that you had negative tribalism thoughts as you watched the news. That you shied away from speaking the truth citing the hand of God in what happened. That you watched as people incited others to violence and looted and said or did nothing.

Leadership has responsibilities, as I went through my hearing and a court ordered retrial later for which I prepared well it downed on me the that the burden of leadership is huge. Some of the Ocampo 6 may have to bear the responsibility for what other people did, but allow me to ask WHAT DID YOU DO? or to put it better, WHAT DID YOU NOT DO?

To build a good future for Kenya, free from violence and negative tribalism I hereby ask you to present your final submissions. The Kenya we want depends on you!

When Things Change:- tokelezea

I was named after a fisherman, my grandmother used to call me ‘jalupo’ dholuo for fisherman. I go fishing once in a while when I am at home; it is the way of life for my people. Having grown up in Western Province, going to my rural home is always an experience. I came to learn that fishermen are very good Geographers who can predict the weather and forecast seasons.

To get them to the fishing grounds faster, they rely on wind. To them wind is feminine- the wind from the North to the direction of Kisumu is called nyar Kisumo, it blows in the morning. The stronger afternoon wind that blows from the South- direction of Migingo is nyar die nam dholuo for the lady from the middle of the lake. The fishermen go fishing with nyar Kisumo then nyar die nam brings them back in the afternoon. Many times they have to hang around Rusinga Island to wait for the wind to change direction.

I have realized that God created everything for a reason and a season. In life sometimes we have to flow with the system. We may want to change direction but we will still have to wait for the wind to drive us there. The other option is to use extra effort in paddling against the wind. When the wind changes direction, like my people of South Rarieda, just raise your sail and it will absorb the wind. God will make you cruise faster to your destiny. UTATOKELEZEA.

Whoever gave wind a feminine noun must have had very good reasons. I will dwell on that next time.

©  6^th September 2011        kenyatta otieno   

There is a drop of madness in everyone

The common cliché in Kenya is that every Lavington has a Kawangware and every Ngumo and Lang’ata has a Kibera. This changes a bit to the East, Runda has a slum but Muthaiga has a mental hospital protecting it from Mathare slum. What does mental illness got to do with economic class?

Word has it that there lived a special mad man in Migori, South Nyanza. He would come from his home smartly dressed and engage people in normal talk and political discussions. When it came time to answer to a long call of nature, shock on you if you were not prepared. He would walk to an open space, and then proceed to fully undress himself. He would go ahead and relieve himself oblivious of people around him then dress up again. He would then proceed with the day’s business as usual.

Like the man from Migori, we are all prone to a surge of insanity. Then again, it is mad people who change the world. What matters is how you use the madness streak in you. Like the ‘mad men and women’ who went before us, those who were first misunderstood but later revered, we can make the world a better place. 

John the Baptist and his cousin Jesus Christ were ‘mad men’ when they sprung into the scene in Israel. Galileo shocked the world with his revelation that the world is not flat like a table. William Wilberforce knew that Britain could survive economically without cheap labour from slaves. The irony is, these men were rejected by the people before what they said was believed. May our madness not separate us from each other like Mathare Mental Hospital but bridge the many social gaps that exist among us.

© 31 August 2011-  otieno kenyatta

Single ladies- Get your own man- Pastor Wa'

This week I have taken a post from Pastor Wa's blog, it touched my heart and mind and may God bless him. The link to the original post is below. To all the hustlers, this is your man.

http://pastorwa.blogspot.com/2011/08/single-ladies-get-your-own-man.html?m=1

 

So I was reading that Linda Muthama proudly calls herself Nyambane’s second wife. He is managing more than just her ‘music affairs’ as well. Has a baby by him and the usual blah blah… By the way, all this has happened a while back

 

And of course as usual, it was fodder for the blogs and media.

Worst of all, there were chics telling Linda to do what she wants, it’s her life.

Now, I don’t know whether to just rant or try and put this entire mountain of a relationship stink-hog in perspective. Because something stinks. And it stinks to high heaven. Someone ought to call it what it is; Relationship bull.

 

When a single young woman of notable influence in this country, goes ahead and becomes a second wife to a man of equal media exposure and women go ahead and cheer her on, something is wrong! Terribly wrong!

You see the truth of the matter is; you single young thing, building a man, a marriage and a family is work. Loads of it. By the time you see a ‘made’ man, some of you need to be schooled on what investment has gone into the making of the man.

 

And by the way, the making is not a procedure by machine. It’s normally by another woman, popularly referred to as the ‘wife’.

You see, no man comes made. It mostly takes a woman to do the dirty work.

She believes in him when no one else does. She helps him get started, encourages him, cooks his meals, irons his shirts, bears and raises his babies, talks to him when he’s down, makes love to him, faithfully waits for him when he comes home late at night, helps him know how to dress up, get his manners up, teaches him how to love a woman, builds a home with him painfully and painstakingly.

 

By the time people and your kind are starting to take note, there’s a nameless faceless woman somewhere that has literally laid down her life to help him become who he is now.

He has money, drives a car, owns or is in the process of owning a home, looks good, dresses the part. How can you not ‘like’ him? He is charming, I mean, come-on, who can resist this man? Who? He’s been in training for years! And then he shows some degree of interest in you?

Well honey, what you fail to realize is, it’s taken his wife 10 years or so teaching him how to talk and listen to a woman, how to be a husband and a father, and now it’s all easy to see how great he is.

Problem is, he didn’t start that way.

He started out broke, single, mostly skinny, unsure of himself, needing affirmation, a dreamer with no money or connections, a simple hustler, and this woman believed in him when nobody else did.

So how do you get yourself to a point of taking ‘over’ his life from that point on when you couldn’t afford him a second glance when he was a hustler?

 

Why not look for your own hustler to believe in and build up?

That is not only a travesty to the relationship, but an insult to another person that has poured their life and strength to build something beautiful.

It really takes quiet a bit by the time a man gets to that level. So I have a piece of advice for ya’ll single girls out there feeling the hots for a married man,

Get your own man!

 

That’s right. Get your own, because contrary to the popular opinion that all good men are married, I say all good men are simply undiscovered.

It takes a smart woman to see potential in a man, and work with that potential till he is fully what he should be. Most girls are looking for a made man, but the reality is, that man is only found among married men. Many single men are not looking for much, just a chic that will believe in them and encourage them.

You see, as a chic, you have to be wiling to get down and dirty (Yes ma’am. And I’m not talking sex here) with your man while you are building a life together. Shop at Marikiti, ride mats, live in a flat in Eastlands, and spend time helping him build a dream most girls wouldn’t give a second look. Why? Because that’s what the brother needs. You consistently invest and work together to build something. In the process, the money will come. The looks will change, class will come, probably even fame and fortune. Ten years down the line. You will look at him and marvel at how far ya’ll have come. He will be the envy of the hormone charged 22 year olds who have no idea what it has taken to get where he is.

 

The reason I seriously disagree with Linda is not because I’m hating on her. God knows that.  I pray they both come to their senses. Oh, and I’m not excusing the guy for allowing that to happen. Not one bit. Nor am I claiming to be in the scoop of the whole deal, so spare me the hate mail. I’m pointing at the travesty that is infidelity from what it does to a family. I’m pointing out a trend among some ladies, and saying; it ain’t right. Again she bragged about it, and there were women bold enough to support her. That is never the way to approach another person’s family. Never. 

 

Nyamb’s wife was with him when he was a nobody. When he was hustling to make it. When his talents were not appreciated. When all we thought of him was a shady clown trying to make us laugh. She bore him babies and raised them. Oh, and don’t even go there! The work it takes to raise kids?  Waking and staying up all night, fevers, throwing up, school work, cooking, cleaning, relatives, moving house…..What?

 

So before you start swooning about a married man being a sweetheart, think. Think hard. Think about the woman that has given her life for this dude to be able to captivate you. Think about the kids. Think about yourself! Think enough to realize, you can have exactly what she has. You can start believing in a guy, working with him. Building a house and a home, a business and a career, from the ground up. And soon enough (However long) He will be exactly what you want.

 

Some of you single chics need to talk to their own mommas. Some of you wouldn’t be where you are if they never helped your fathers build a home and a family. Even when the men treated them wrong, and I’m not at all excusing men for behaving badly. I’m just saying, for the work it takes to build a man and a marriage significantly, the key is found in believing in a guy when he is starting on his own.

It’s seeing his potential.

 

It’s helping him become the man he can be. It’s you giving yourself into the journey of life.

Teach him his manners,

How to listen, How to treat a woman

How to raise kids, save money, build a business, stay encouraged.

 

If you commit to that, then you won’t have to start drooling over another woman’s man.

He is taken! I don’t care if he is making advances. You simply don’t go there. You get your own man. Help him become ‘made’ and build a home a family to enjoy.

So, if you are considering a married dude, I will say this,

 

GET YOUR OWN MAN!

Just sayin...

"Leave my ball- Obingo, Nyamweya and Hatimy"

 My dreams of playing for Gor Mahia FC crushed in high school. I had cut my teeth at Railways Youth FC in Nakuru with the likes of John Mo' and Ramathan Balala.  I hoped to emulate Mike Otieno and Tom Odhiambo who I watched play for Musingu High School and later joined Gor. I did not meet the cut but I tend to lie that I chose to pursue books because footballers did poorly in academics. However this has never dampened my love for the beautiful game.

My love affair with football began as an eight year old back in 1987. One evening my headboy at Musingu Primary School took me to watch the All African Games finals between Kenya and Egypt. The following year I followed the African Cup of Nations in Morroco with glee. Since I knew football, Obingo and Sam Nyamweya have been associated with Kenyan football.  I do not have anything to say about Hatimy because I believe he lacks a football bone in his body. Just leave my ball alone.

Please Obingo, Sam Nyamweya and Mohammed Hatimy, with all due respect withdraw your candidature for the Football Association elections set for this month. Former president Moi said that there was no one in his cabinet able to succeed him; he did not know that he was announcing his failure to the world. A leader’s success is in raising other leaders and for this Mr. Nyamweya you score an ‘F’ for failed. I humbly ask you to let your biological or adopted children vie on your behalf. What you could do, you did let others also do their bit, leave my ball alone.

Moses accepted that Joshua was the chosen of God to lead Israel into the Promised Land. He had walked with Joshua through his leadership and the young man did not disappoint his mentor. Where are your Joshua’s? Leave my ball alone.

 In Numbers 27:15-20 below (NIV) Moses delegates his power to Joshua an act that did not diminish his worth to date. Let go, leave my dear ball.

¹⁵ Moses said to the LORD, ¹⁶ “May the LORD, the God who gives breath to all living things, appoint someone over this community ¹⁷ to go out and come in before them, one who will lead them out and bring them in, so the LORD’s people will not be like sheep without a shepherd.” 

 ¹⁸ So the LORD said to Moses, “Take Joshua son of Nun, a man in whom is the spirit of leadership,^[a] and lay your hand on him. ¹⁹ Have him stand before Eleazar the priest and the entire assembly and commission him in their presence. ²⁰ Give him some of your authority so the whole Israelite community will obey him. 

kenyatta otieno © since 1978.